I look at this as an interesting matrix of technology in conflict with social norms where it impacts the feminine imperative. One of the foundational truths of red pill wisdom is to ignore what women say and watch what they do; and the internet is a pretty amazing thing. When given the chance to comment anonymously and without any male ego on the line about what size penis women really preferred, this is the result:
(Image Credit: Huffington Post http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2008-06-16-0chart.jpg)
Penis size is an area in which men pretty much had no control until very recently. Women will tell a guy what he wants to hear, but the chart above indicates why the idea of “Chad Thundercock” exists. The median penis length for a white man is about 5.7 inches fully erect. Assuming a normal curve (this is biological so the “fit” is not exact but it’s pretty close) the first standard deviation on men (68.2%) is between 4.8 and 6.6 inches in length. That’s the average guy.
The second standard deviation gets a guy out to about 7.6 inches and it isn’t until the third standard deviation (statistically that would be a little over 2% of men) that a guy has an erect penis between 7.5 and 8.5 inches long. However, if you notice the distribution on the chart, it’s skewed in a narrow range to favor girth instead of length. The median erect girth is 4.8 inches with a standard deviation of .5 inches. Thus, the average guy is 5.7 inches in length and 4.8 inches in girth. The 2nd standard deviation begins at 6.6 inches in length and 5.3 inches in girth. That is larger than 68.2% of all men. The 3rd standard deviation begins at 7.6 inches in length and 5.8 inches in girth.
Notice something about that chart, compared to the statistics:
Notice that small square on the left with the “50%” in it? That represents half the male population. Expand it out to the edge of the 1st standard deviation, which is 68.27% of the population. See where that gets you? Continue out to the edge of the 2nd standard deviation and now you’ve got a dick that’s 7.6 inches long with a girth of 5.8 inches and according to this chart, you’re barely in the “very satisfying but not ideal” range.
It took me a while to figure out how, if so few men had a tool that large that women knew what was the ideal size. That question was answered in two parts, the first with one word: “dildo.” They do not make “average sized guy” dildos, so it turns out that in at least some cases the guy is competing with a fantasy fueled by a dildo that’s bigger than the penis possessed by over 99% of the men out there. The second, it turns out, is women are horrible at guessing size and they tend not to carry around tape measures.
I worked my way through college as a waiter. One place I worked had a wine station right behind a couple of booths with a screen that prevented the customers from seeing us working, but we could hear every word. You cannot believe how many times I overheard conversations from groups of women that revolved around how good their new boyfriend was in bed and how big he was. Or how bad he was in bed or how small he was. Seriously. I think it’s why some guys have no trouble dating a woman and then working their way through her circle of friends. Granted, he has to have more going for him than just the size of his penis, but it seems to be something women talk about. Ever notice that one of the go-to insults a woman uses on a man is that he has a small penis?
Most guys are somewhat apprehensive about the size of their penis if they’ve ever overheard those kinds of conversations. The problem with the penis is it isn’t a muscle, it’s an exoskeleton. We know that working out with weights results in getting bigger muscles (for those with testosterone) but what could be done to grow the penis? That’s a problem of a different sort and as it turns out, very few people ever did any research on the penis (the scientific kind). Trust me, you will never hear a scientist (or for that matter any woman) so cheerfully discuss the subject of the penis in a non-sexual way as Diane Kelly does in her TED talk.
As it turns out, based in part on her research, there is a way to get the penis to grow. This is probably the ultimate review of the Bathmate, which is a hydrostatic penis extender that works to grow the penis (over time, permanently) in both length and girth. This guy is what I’d have to call a “true believer” and he posts pics of himself to prove it (don’t worry, there’s plenty of warning before getting to them). But this kind of begs the question of why a guy would want a bigger dick. In most cases it’s because he learned the lesson about listening to women who say “just be yourself” and he got a look at the chart above.
But, this is where the social aspects of all this get interesting. Why is it that the women want a guy with a big dick? I get that it’s an issue of how it feels, but this is a two sided equation. On one side is the size of the penis and on the other side is the “fit” if you will, of the vagina. If you read any PUA type blogs guys constantly talk about moving on after a divorce and getting with women who are younger, hotter and tighter. So, why don’t women take responsibility for their lady-bits? They do pilates and yoga to look good on the outside, why not work on the inside too?
Vaginal tightness was something which women pretty much had no control over until recently. About 5 years ago I got to know people in a local Russian expat community and the women talked about the problems in Russia (way more women than men) and said there was a school that taught “girl game.” Literally, how to be feminine, flirtatious, sweet, complimentary to men and how to manage the process of getting the guy from acquaintance to husband. One part of the school was physical training of the vagina. They called it VUM training and said once men had been with a woman who’d been through that training, they would never be satisfied with another woman again. Blew my mind, but it also made me curious. They use a device something like the Kegelmaster but its got a biofeedback component… some kind of lightbar that shows the women exactly what the muscles are doing. As the muscles got stronger the women learned how to control what their vagina was doing. You can imagine…
Of course, that’s Russia and the US medical establishment refuses to report on most Russian medical research. Amazingly, there’s been some bleed-over in spite of that.
It turns out there has been an explosion of childbirth related uterine prolapse problems in the US, attributed to a lack of exercise by women. Well, I guess anyone that looks around can see it, but that’s what drove the development of the Kegelmaster and other devices like that (Ladies, you simply must read the reviews on the Kegelmaster). Then came the feedback of the effect on sex and while the doctors and researchers who developed this knew it was coming they had no idea of the response. Women were like “OMG!” Then came the idea of combining a vaginal exerciser with a sex toy and we got the Magic Banana. Now there’s even an exerciser with its own smartphone app. You just can’t make this stuff up.
I’ve been watching the discussions around the sphere lately on sex robots and that sort of thing, which has highlighted the double standard between men and women. Women are praised as being empowered when they buy vibrators and other sex toys but men are shamed for buying something like a fleshlight. (If you don’t know, it’s an artificial vagina that looks like a flashlight). My fascination is with the trends. If one looks at the societal trends of the last 50 years, think about the trend in fitness and the accompanying societal standards.
If one looks at male models of the 1970’s and compares them with the male models of today, the most notable difference is the huge increase in muscle mass. The standard in what it means to be considered “good looking” for men has changed, probably on a permanent basis. Women’s standards haven’t changed much because men have always liked the same things in women. Annette Kellerman wouldn’t have any problems getting interest today.
My question is where the whole penis extension thing is going. If a guy got a Bathmate, used it and got a big dick, would that encourage him to stay in a relationship (especially if his wife was “lovin it”) or would the increased confidence cause him to go looking for something else? Of course, he’d have to find a way to hide it because if the wife/GF found out he was using a penis pump her automatic response would be shaming.
On the other side of the coin, if women got a lot more enjoyment out of sex because they exercised the right spot, where would that lead? Would they be more likely to stay in their (now) sexually satisfying relationship, or be more likely to figure that if it’s *this* good with the guy they’ve got, what would it be like with a guy that’s bigger? In other words how would her hypergamy react to having her own “chinese finger trap”?
According to the Bathmate people they’ve sold a lot of them and from what I can see of the evidence, they work. There are other devices that also work to one extent or another but evidently none as well as the Bathmate. According to the people who make the Kegelmaster 2000, they’ve sold a lot of them. There are also lots of other vaginal exercisers on the market. The point is, will we see a tipping point on either of these things? Will we see the point at which guys buy these things in high school in the same way gym rats are eating steroids like candy?
Would it still be the same chart if all the women in the sample had been using a vaginal exerciser and were as tight as they wanted to be? I have no idea. Is the chart at the top proof of the “Alpha Widow” phenomena? Could be.
Given the way women are, a normal sized guy gains an advantage with women by having a bigger dick, but especially with younger women. For obvious reasons and because women talk and it’s a talking point. When I was young a guy just needed to look reasonably good and not be needy in order to get laid. Charisma helped a lot and the ability to approach, but it wasn’t that difficult to get laid. Later, some game was required. The stories coming in from the field say that to be competitive in today’s sexual market a guy needs to be jacked and have tight game. How much longer until he not only has to be jacked and have tight game but needs to be hung as well? Another decade? Maybe, but I doubt more than two decades will pass before having a big dick is as important as hitting the gym. It’s called competition.
Women (especially those hitting or about to hit the wall) gain a huge advantage over their competitors by toning up down there. I know women in their 30’s and 40’s who complain about having to have sex by the second date or there won’t be a third. They’re all divorced, they’d all like to get married again and they are not happy with the fact the men they want not only don’t want them but their second choices don’t want to get married again (once bitten, twice shy). I’m thinking that really toning things up and being virginal tight might be a selling point.
They say the tipping point on vibrators and sex toys becoming socially acceptable for woman was the Sex In The City episode about the rabbit (1998) 17 years ago, and today they’re ubiquitous. I’m waiting for the scene in a movie where the woman tells the guy to put his finger in her and then after he does clamps down on it and says “OK, try to pull it out.” I guarantee it would be as famous as the orgasm scene in “When Harry Met Sally.” What’s so funny to me is a good FUD campaign would sell millions of these things because plenty of women are insecure about how tight they are just like men are insecure about the size of their package. Think of it as the modern-day “ring around the collar.”
Looks like I’ll need more popcorn.