How Marriage Begins, According To God.

The very best book I ever read on Bible Prophesy was “The Sign” by Robert Van Kampen.  According to the author, it started out as a huge cork-board on which they stuck 3×5 cards with every end-times prophesy and worked to arrange them so they all made complete sense with no disagreement among themselves or with the rest of Scripture.  When it was finished, they had a new “position” on the rapture that had never been put forward before: “pre-wrath.”  Because the complete synthesis of all the prophesies conflicted with just about every denominational teaching and doctrine, the book was not well received.

The only way to put it is that he was damned with faint praise.   All the major groups praised his scholarship and promptly forgot about him because they didn’t want to get into an argument they were going to lose.  That left the anklebiters and they’ve been attacking his position for years.  Everyone has to come up with an argument for why he’s wrong in order to support their own incorrect doctrine.  It’s not hard because so very few even read their Bibles.

I took the same idea and applied it to sexual morality and marriage.  I am not an extremely wealthy businessman with the largest private collection of Biblical-era manuscripts in the world and a large group of very intelligent people to help me.  I’m just one man.  Which is probably why the project made it as far as it did, because as contentious as Biblical prophesy is…  it’s nothing compared to the contentiousness of sexual morality, which includes “premarital” sex, prostitution, marriage (monogamy and polygamy), adultery, divorce; as well as all the other issues the Bible covers in its instruction on sexual morality.

This is the core of a much larger poster for teaching, linked to at the bottom.  It’s still in somewhat of a state of flux as information gets shifted around, but you will rarely see Scripture laid out like this.  Click on the image and you’ll get the full-sized view.

Above is the center section of the chart, to give you an idea of what it looks like.  This includes citation, analysis and exegesis, as well as church history to explain how things got the way they are, plus word studies.  There are typos.  It still needs work and keep in mind that it’s rather large.  This is the .png file version, if you desire a copy of the .tif file to print, ask for it in the comment section.

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16 Responses to How Marriage Begins, According To God.

  1. glad2meetyou says:

    Hi Artisanal Toad,

    I’m new to your blog, and I’ve been sufficiently enraged and triggered. My mind has been blown. Well done, sincerely. I’m studying your flow chart on what God said about marriage, and I have not yet found an obvious flaw in your reasoning. But what about Matthew 16:18-20? Matthew 16:18-20 amends Deuteronomy 4:2. If this verse gives the church founded by Peter those powers, then doesn’t the RCC have the power to add laws to marriage? Why can’t the RCC invent the sins of premarital sex and fornication?

    • Matthew 16:18-20 amends Deuteronomy 4:2.

      Actually, it doesn’t, at least according to Jesus. He said, speaking of the Law, “not one jot or tittle shall pass away until all things are complete.”

      The RCC is fond of using this passage to support the idea they can pull anything out of their rear end and claim it’s truth, but the fact is… the Law can’t be changed.

      Keys to the kingdom of Heaven? Peter first preached to the Jews at Pentecost and they received the Holy Spirit. Then he preached to the Samaritans (half jews) and they received the Holy Spirit. Finally, he preached to the Gentiles and *they* received the Holy Spirit. So… maybe that passage doesn’t say what the RCC claims it says.

      As to binding and loosing, I personally believe it’s got more to do with church discipline along the lines of ecclesiastical courts according to the Law (example- 1st Cor. 5, cast out the immoral brother- who violated the Law against lifting his father’s skirt).

      At any rate, not even Jesus can change the Law, although there are several examples in the NT in which the “house rules” for Christians contain restrictions the Law didn’t (1st Cor 6:15-16, no use of prostitutes; and 1st Cor 7:10-11, no divorce for two married Christians, no exceptions). Then, in Romans 14 we have issues with eating meat (idolatry stuff) and keeping the Sabbath where those things have been relaxed for Christians. So, it’s not that the Law was changed anywhere in the NT, it’s that Christians are the servants of Christ and He has the right to make the rules for His own house.

      You may want to reload this page, I just updated it.

  2. SnapperTrx says:

    Hi there, AT. Have seen you in conversations around various blogs for the past year or so and only just now caught on to the information you are trying to convey. I have to say that, at the moment, I feel I can agree with you, though I am still doing some of my own prayer and research, as what you are saying is of great importance if is Gods truth. I plan on doing some searching myself, but figured I would ask you a question, as you have probably already done the research on your own and I would like your input:

    Aside from the scripture we see in Deuteronomy that describe various situations in which a man ‘takes’ a girl to be his wife, is there anywhere else in the bible that properly describes how to initiate and complete a marriage? I cant think of any off hand. I can think of several wedding celebrations, which are not ceremonies but seem to be just the party leading up to or after the actual wedding. I know you are quite unpopular around certain sites, but what you are saying does make sense and, scripturally, it seems to be sound. Thanks for any input.

    • Hi Snapper

      First, don’t believe a word I say or anything anybody in your church says about the Bible until you confirm for yourself that it’s actually in the Bible AND is in line with all the rest of the Bible. Be like the Bereans, in other words.

      is there anywhere else in the bible that properly describes how to initiate and complete a marriage?

      Your question illustrates the disconnect most Christians have with the idea of how a marriage is initiated.

      Genesis 2:24 is the verse you’re looking for and it’s so simple that most have a very difficult time seeing it. This single verse is the LAW on marriage, so let’s look at what it says, then we’ll look at what it doesn’t say. But let me state the three elements here so they’re understandable:

      For this reason, the *man* shall leave

      For this reason, the *man* shall cleave

      For this reason, *they* shall become one flesh.

      First is the statement of purpose: “For this reason.” What reason? Marriage and making babies in compliance with the first command to all of mankind, “be fruitful and multiply.”

      To whom is this law addressed? To “the man” and this law is a grant of authority to the man to initiate marriage. not to the families, not to the community, not to the state or even to the church. To the man.

      The first element: authority: The “shall leave” part can be physical, such as a physical leaving of the parents home, but not necessarily and it is not a requirement for marriage. What this element is speaking of is a separation of authority. The son (man) will no longer be under the authority of his father and mother, he will now be the head of his own house and in authority over his own wife.

      The second element: The Man’s Action: The man shall cleave unto his wife. To cleave, to penetrate, to part. This is the physical consummation of the marriage. Virgins come with a hymen that’s designed to rupture and bleed at the first instance of penetrative sexual intercourse. With that shedding of blood the marital covenant is initiated and they are married. The fact that the act of consummation creates the marriage is confirmed by Exodus 22:16 and Deuteronomy 22:28-29. Therefore, the marriage “ceremony” is the physical act of the man taking the woman’s virginity. Most folks choose to do this in private.

      The third element: God’s Action. We know from Matthew 19 that “they shall become one flesh” is what God does, not the man. Jesus, after quoting Genesis 2:24, said “so they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined let no man separate.”

      The Result: Marriage

      Notice that nowhere in this passage or in Exodus 22:16-17 or in Deuteronomy 22:28-29 is there any mention of a ceremony, rite, ritual or anything other than the sex that is mentioned here. And they are married because that is the law on marriage.

      Why are you looking for the “proper” way to take a wife? Perhaps it’s because of the lies you’ve been taught and you’re looking hard for what the church has always claimed to be there but it isn’t.

      The Patristic church fathers, writing in 300-400 AD, were of the opinion that sex was evil and a sin even within marriage unless specifically for the purpose of procreation. They denied that sex had anything to do with marriage, rather than marriage was all about consent. They later decided that Christians were only married when the church blessed the union, which occurred at a ceremony of marriage officiated by the church’s representative, the priest.

      This has been so set in traditional and cultural stone that nobody even looks at what the Bible actually says any more, which is tragic. However… Because Scripture says the woman is married when she loses her virginity, when confronted with a non-virgin the only real question to ask is “who is her husband?”

      All non-virgins are married to someone, unless or until:
      1. Her marriage is annulled by her father
      2. Her husband dies
      3. Her unbelieving husband abandons her
      4. She commits adultery and her unbelieving husband divorces her.

      If the non-virgin doesn’t fall into one of those categories, she is MARRIED. Not because she had a wedding ceremony but because she gave her virginity to her husband and nothing has happened to end the marriage.

      • SnapperTrx says:

        Thanks for the info. I had read that information on your site previously, but I understand a little more what your getting at. Personally I am already married, but I have three kids (2 boys and a girl) and I want to make sure that I am giving them good biblical advice on marriage. After reading your posts for some time over the past year it really got me thinking about what we are taught in church and what the bible actually says. You have pricked my interest for the truth, even if it is unpopular. Indeed I will be reading up on this, as I try to do with anything biblical I read on the internet, I was just looking for some clarification. Thanks again.

        • I think the most important point for the kids today is for them to understand how marriage is initiated. Marriage does not begin with a ceremony, it begins with a woman losing her virginity and from that point on she’s married.

          The idea of “premarital sex” is a lie because behind it is the idea that it was just a sin that can be and will be forgiven when it’s confessed. It covers the fact that a marriage was created and sets the stage for future adultery.

          You have pricked my interest for the truth, even if it is unpopular.

          I’m afraid you’ll find that the truth of what the Bible says is almost always unpopular, especially in the church.

  3. Freedman says:

    So then, every female whose hymen I broke is my wife, even if I was an unbeliever and I refused to live with her afterward? Or is she free in those cases?

    • First, the Christian woman shouldn’t have given you her virginity, but I suppose it’s to be expected because the church has been lying about this for 1500 years, claiming sex does not make one married.

      However, according to Paul in 1st Corinthians 7:12-15, if the unbelieving husband leaves (refuses to stay with her) then she is free. She may remarry but only a Christian man.

  4. mojohn says:

    Hi Toad. I’d very much like to receive the .tiff file of your Genesis 2:24 exegesis diagram.

    Thanks!

  5. Pingback: Churchian Fail: 5 out of 21 | Toad's Hall

  6. Reysahn says:

    Hello Toad. I, too, would like to receive the .tiff file of your Genesis 2:24 exegesis diagram. Thanks!

  7. Pingback: Voicing Disagreement… | Toad's Hall

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