Protocol For Interaction With Modern “Single” Women


Attractive And Over 22?  Odds Are, She’s Not A Virgin

According to the CDC, the average age at which a woman in the US loses her virginity is 17.1 years of age, which means literally half of the girls are no longer a virgin within a month or so after turning 17.   By the age of 20, some  76% of them are no longer virgins and by age 22 that jumps to 86% which means there’s only 14% who are still virgins.   The virgins past that are, as a rule, either very intelligent, very ugly or have strong convictions about sex before marriage.  Those are not necessarily three separate groups.

As has been explained before, sex with an eligible virgin results in marriage.  Whether she agreed to it or not, whether she knew it or not.  That means if she’s not a virgin she’s married and no, she doesn’t know that.  So… why are you interested in some other guy’s wife?  Oh, right.  She doesn’t know she’s married and doesn’t understand how or why because she was never taught.  Someone needs to explain things.

Dating Foreplay:  Ensuring She’s No Longer Married

This is very similar to sharing the Gospel.  It may surprise you, but the vast majority of Christians have never shared the Gospel with anyone and wouldn’t know how if they tried.  If you were to ask them what the Roman’s Road was they wouldn’t know and even if they recognized it only a few would be able to explain it.  And the ones who have those 5 verses memorized?  There might be one or two in your church.  Maybe.   And it’s so simple, all it takes is being able to do napkin theology:

napkintheologyThink of this as a strange form of missionary dating, because this is your reality.  If you’re a Christian man who wants to get married you will have to deal with this because the likelihood of meeting a virgin over the age of 25 that you would want to marry is slim.  Very slim.

Sharing the gospel takes practice if you’re going to be effective.  You have to know your material, cold, and have the verses memorized.  You know, like you actually care enough to memorize it?

It’s the same thing with Dating Foreplay.  Part of the problem with sharing the Gospel is it can be difficult for someone to recognize their condition and be able to confess being a sinner.  Even more difficult is handling the issue of the woman not being a virgin (translation:  YOU SLUT!) and on top of that being an adulteress.   Prepare and understand what this is all about, because it isn’t a virgin vs whore paradigm, it’s an eligible vs ineligible paradigm.   The problem with the woman who isn’t a virgin is that except for rare exceptions, she’s married, doesn’t know it, never agreed to it and doesn’t want it.  That’s a problem and the first part is similar to a doctor telling a patient they have cancer: their first reaction is to refuse to believe it.

The explicit instruction of Genesis 2:24 is that for a man, the act of inserting his penis in a woman’s vagina is both his consent and his commitment to marry her.  Every time.   This gets interesting because the Bible does not restrict a man to a single wife, anywhere.   Men marry a woman with the act of sex and are not restricted to a single marriage, which is why there is not a single passage in Scripture that prohibits a man from having sex with any eligible woman, except one.  Just one.  That’s 1st Corinthians 6:15-16, which forbids a Christian man from having sex with a prostitute.

Virgins don’t have agency, which is a nice way of saying that according to the Bible their consent is irrelevant to being married.  The proof of that is Deuteronomy 22:28-29, which states that raping a virgin results in marriage to her.   But what happens if an eligible woman is not a virgin?  She has agency, which means her consent is required in order to marry her.   Her consent to have sex is NOT her consent to marry, it’s just sex, it’s not prohibited and it’s not a sin.

If you try to explain that to the average woman …  you’ll see something like this:


Everything in this post hinges on her father being alive because if her father isn’t alive it’s a much different problem- at that point getting out of the marriage depends on her husband being a non-Christian.  That gets complicated quickly and isn’t something that can be dealt with by a single phone call and her father saying seven words.

Keep in mind that the fastest way to destroy a woman’s attraction to you is to share the Gospel with her.  With Christian women, as a rule her attraction toward you DIES as soon as you seriously talk about what the Bible says because of the twin issues of guilt and judgment.  This is because she’s been taught that all the erotic things she’s been thinking about doing with you are WRONG and she doesn’t want to be judged.   The truth of what the Bible says contradicts everything she’s ever been taught, but her parents, pastor and teachers will all tell her  this is crazy and they’ll preach the party line.  What to do?

You Must Seduce Her

The irony in this is off the scale, because you’re flipping the script on Satan.  Your most powerful ally will be her rationalizing hamster and her solipsism will take care of the rest.

Build attraction, comfort, more attraction and at some point this has to be presented as something of a compliance test.  If she’s attracted she’ll play along but if she’s not prepared, somewhere around half-way to three-quarters of the way through she’ll get really nervous.  Which is why you have to prepare her.  Alcohol is also useful, but only in moderation.

The preparation starts with what falls in the realm of “conspiracy theory” and there are a lot of good ones.  One example you can tie in with all the crazy political stuff today:

Did you know there was a plot to overthrow the US government during the great depression?  It’s true.  General Smedley Butler was picked to lead a force of US veterans to take over, but he contacted the authorities and shut it down.   It was a group of the richest and most powerful men in the country, who believed those in charge were destroying the country.  They were so powerful that nothing was done and the history books hardly even mention it.

The place you’re going with this is all the crazy stuff the Catholic church teaches and it’s a target rich environment.  The simple truth is the church claims the Pope is infallible and they can’t admit they were ever wrong about anything, no matter how crazy it is.  With a good foundation laid, start with something along the lines of

“The whole “sex doesn’t make you married, there has to be a ceremony” thing?  That was something the church made up and used during their war on the nobility back in the middle ages.  What the Bible actually says is that a woman is married to the guy who took her virginity, whether she knew it or not.  But the thing is, God knew girls would get seduced and He gave them a way to end it with seven words.  But churches today won’t mention that stuff because then they’d have to admit almost everything they teach about sex and marriage is wrong and it’s possible to have sex outside marriage and not be in sin.  They’d rather have most people in the church living in adultery than admit to that.”

Keep in mind you are talking to an adulteress.  If she’s not willing to deal with that by asking her father to annul the marriage, your only legitimate response is “Next!” and move on.  If she’s teachable, proceed.  Again, I approach this from the standpoint that you’re a Christian man and you’re interested in marriage and family.  This is a deal-breaker, right up front.  It’s like an STD with a 1-shot cure.  If she’s in denial and won’t take the cure, they only thing you can do is walk away.


Two Keys To Understanding

The first is the fact that yes, sex does make you married.  The easiest “cut to the chase” way of explaining this is to use the New Testament to interpret exactly what the Old Testament said back in Genesis 2:24.

comments 51The second is that her father has the authority to annul her marriage because he didn’t give his approval beforehand.  But, and this is important, only if she did it when she was in her youth living in his house.  That boils down to being under his authority, not having “left home” so going to college on his dime still counts in terms of being under his authority.

There is a progression here, first one has to understand that yes, sex with a virgin does make her married to the guy who did it.  THEN we go to Numbers 30:3-5

“Also if a woman makes a vow to the LORD, and binds herself by an obligation in her father’s house in her youth, and her father hears her vow and her obligation by which she has bound herself, and her father says nothing to her, then all her vows shall stand and every obligation by which she has bound herself shall stand.  But if her father should forbid her on the day he hears of it, none of her vows or her obligations by which she has bound herself shall stand; and the LORD will forgive her because her father had forbidden her.”

I’ve never been asked if that authority extended to getting married, verse five seems to be enough.  However, the point of the text is that it refers to a vow to the Lord.  Obviously a vow to the Lord is of more consequence than a vow to your neighbor, so if the father has the authority to annul a vow to the Lord then he has the authority to annul a vow to anyone else.  And if the Lord forgives her because her father has forbidden it, everyone else must forgive her as well.  Her father has forbidden it.

Still, the question might come up as to whether the father has the authority to annul her marriage to a man in the day he hears about it (which would always be after the fact) and Scripture definitively answers that question.  In Exodus 22:16-17 we have the situation in which a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged (she’s eligible to marry) and has sex with her.   Nobody questions the fact that according to Genesis 2:24 they are married, but her father has something to say about that.  In verse 16 the father doesn’t object to their marriage, which is why she’s referred to as his wife.  In verse 17, her father refuses, annulling her marriage and they are no longer married.

Then we have the situation of Deuteronomy 22:28-29, in which the woman was raped.  If they were discovered, meaning there is witness to the fact she did not agree, they are married.  Nothing is said about what happens if they are not discovered and in that situation the father decides the issue.  Perhaps she did agree.

At any rate, the only way her father can’t annul the marriage is if she were discovered being raped.  That’s important because of the number of women today who claim to have been raped as children and the issues surrounding that.  Oh- and that means two or more witnesses, one isn’t enough.

These two points are not difficult to comprehend, but dealing with the idea that as far as God is concerned… she’s married…  that’s difficult for her to wrap her head around both intellectually and emotionally.  However, the point is that it’s a problem that can be fixed and now all she needs is some encouragement to get the problem fixed.

The Action That Must Be Taken

It doesn’t matter what her father believes, it doesn’t matter what he knows, Scripture says that if he forbids it in the day he hears of it, her marriage is over.  Seven words.

I Forbid Your Marriage To ______  _______

If her father is a Christian (and probably even if he isn’t) then I can say with a good deal of certainty that he didn’t want her to have sex before she got married.  Yes, she was married the moment she had sex, but the point is her father wanted that marriage to be one she wanted and walked into with her eyes wide open.  Not one entered into in ignorance.

What does it cost him to say those words?  Nothing.

“Dad, I’m going to ask you to do something for me, and it’s really important to me.  It’s more important than you can imagine.  I want you to tell me I can’t marry ______  _____.  Seriously, I want you to say “I forbid your marriage to ______  ______.”  Will you do that for me?   Will you say that and mean it?”

I find it hard to believe any father in this day and age would refuse.  He will no doubt be curious, but even if they have a bad relationship, he will say the words.  After that, she needs to ask his forgiveness because when she gave that guy her virginity it was an act of rebellion against him.  She may not be able to do so, but if she can then it will be the beginning of healing in their relationship.  Healing neither of them may have known they need.

For any married men, don’t do this.   If you’re married, go directly to your father-in-law and deal with him yourself.  There are a lot of reasons for that, but if you have any trouble in your marriage you don’t need your wife suddenly being morally turned loose.  “What?  We were never married?  Yippee!”  And that’s just the beginning.  Are you previously divorced?  Want to try explaining to your wife that her “divorced” Christian husband is still married to his 1st wife and she’s wife #2?   I will cover dealing with this subject within the context of already being married in a later post.  Right now I simply don’t have any data to rely on.

And one other thing.  This issue is more explosive than any I can think of and in a situation in which nobody likes the message and it really can’t be argued with, as a rule the messenger gets shot.  Or churches split when an ambitious young leader sees the opportunity to develop his own niche.  Sorry, when he develops a conviction about it.

Putting It All In Context

After her talk with her father, you may find she has a need to confess.  She has a need to confess because what she really needs is forgiveness and absolution.   Deal with it, because by the time this is over you will have an emotionally intimate relationship.  You might find a little prodding helps:  “Anything else you want to get off your chest while you’re in confession mode?”  If she feels comfortable (meaning you’re not giving her a judgmental vibe) she will and you’ll get to listen to it, make appropriate noises and give her the restoration she needs.

Now she needs to understand the position she’s in.  She’s not a virgin and she’s not married.  She will never again be married without knowing it because she now has to give her consent before she can be married.  So, if she has sex with an eligible man it’s just sex, it’s not prohibited and it isn’t a sin.  There isn’t any obligation and she isn’t married until she agrees to marry, but that was also the last time her father can annul her marriage.  Because she’s no longer in her youth and living in his house.

Foreplay is now complete, she is eligible to marry.  She’s not a virgin so that means if you two want to give sex a test drive you can, but be careful.  What I’ve just described can be a very emotionally bonding experience and if you drop sexual intimacy into that mix you may be setting yourself up for some serious pain.  Because hypergamy doesn’t care and she may decide to take a few guilt-free rides on the carousel.   On the other hand, you have your conscience to deal with and your conscience might let you know it would be wrong to have sex with her, even though it’s not prohibited.  Or you may be convicted the right thing to do is remain chaste.  If that’s the case then it’s sin for you to have sex with her.

As far as the pain goes, you don’t know how she will process this and it may not go the way you think.  But, at the end of the day, what alternative do you have?  You do your part and let the Lord do His part.  Even if she goes off the deep end she’s no longer in adultery and she’s better off because of you.

save a virgin

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28 Responses to Protocol For Interaction With Modern “Single” Women

  1. DJ says:

    “What did I do that was wrong?”

    Every time I think you went to far the pics make sense by the time I’m done reading but cant you tone it down? If I sent this to some ppl they would stop at the pic and never read it.

    Toad, this is like criminal mental whiplash. Do you have any idea how disturbing this is to go back over everything I was taught and find out that most it was wrong? And the thing that pisses me off to no end is ultimately your logic holds.

    Sex with virgin = marriage.
    Non-virgin = married woman.
    Married woman = adultery.
    Only way out = get rid of marriage.
    If she wont listen = Next.
    If none listen to me = I’m screwed.

    What is a Christian supposed to do? I know your right with the virginity thing coz none of the girls in my church look at us and I wish I could explain to my pastor what you said about talking about the Bible with girls. You can see it in their expression and they start looking for the door. There’s no way I could do this stuff.

    • Your question is something akin to Athol Kay’s 4-point matrix for a relationship that’s in a bad spot. Except, it’s your relationship with yourself and with God. The 4 choices are:

      Tolerance. You learn to live with it even though you don’t like it and you know it could get better. This is what the church teaches you to do. Don’t try to change yourself, just pray and one day God will do something.

      Cheating. You maintain the illusion that you’re still keeping the bargain but you cheat because you can’t tolerate the situation. This will tear you up.

      Divorce. You decide to end it and try your luck elsewhere. Mycroft linked to an interesting article demonstrating that the Mormon church has an acute shortage of men and those girls tend to stay virgins until their (official) marriage. But, if you belong to Him, this won’t work.

      Improvement. This is where you decide you’re not willing to accept the first three choices and you decide to change things. Which you can certainly do, but it takes work. A lot of work. Next post will deal with this.

  2. Kristie says:

    How you can call yourself a christian is beyond me and the idea you can spew this hatred of women and lie that sex outside marriage is righteous and men can have harems of women who are supposed to give him sex anytime he wants and be shamed for being overweight makes me furious. This is just so, so wrong. You don’t know what love is and you never will. All you see in women is a sex object and a tool to satisfy your lusts! You advocate immorality in the name of God and He will judge you for that and there is a special place in hell for abusive men like you who corrupt young ones and lure them into darkness. Just because a girl gets taken advantage of or makes a mistake doesn’t make her this fallen slut like you think and with an attitude like yours no virgin could possibly be interested in you bcause you are a horrible lying woman hating serpent. You call yourself a toad but you’re a serpent and unless you repent you will burn in hell. What would your mother think if she read this garbage? But you don’t have a mother because you were spawned under a rock somewhere and you need to crawl back underneath your rock and stop lying. You make me sick to my stomach with your vulgar lies and lewd pictures and you do it to lure young men in here to teach them lies and it makes me want to vomit and looking at this garbage makes me feel dirty.

    • men can have harems…
      supposed to give him sex…
      shamed for being overweight…
      girl gets taken advantage of…
      makes a mistake…
      fallen slut…
      makes me feel dirty…

      And the word of the day is “Projection”

      All the signs are here, this is a modern churchian woman. Her only semi-valid complaint is with the photos, but they’re like mosquito repellent: normally they tend to keep women like this away. I did give serious consideration to the lead photo for this post, but I finally concluded that while borderline, it fit the theme perfectly. The mix of sensuality and suggestiveness that created this problem in the first place and the “what did I do what was wrong?”

      The sad irony is that for 99.9999% of the women in church it’s a valid question.

      My guess is Kristie fell in love with a high-value guy in high school, gave him her virginity and he dumped her shortly afterward. She never recovered. She refuses to recognize the truth of what she did; and that every guy after that was a case of adultery. She may have “married” a guy and later divorced him, using him as a proxy for the guy who broke her heart. In all likelihood she meets the clinical definition of obese, but she’s still probably got an N>10 for all that. Men she is attracted to are not interested in her for anything more than a pump and dump… and she’s been pumped and dumped repeatedly to the point of bitterness. The outrage over the photos is probably related to being overweight but it could speak to guilt over attraction issues with other women.

      I suspect she’s lashing out in pain after being confronted with the truth, but she’s merely an example. The churches are filled with women like this and it’s why a man today must be a man of excellence. No man can allow himself to be tempted to settle for a woman like this. If you do, one day you will be on the receiving end of diatribes like this in your own house. Don’t be that guy.

    • Renee Harris says:

      Hey hon
      Te toad have gotten more bold over the past two years. Two years ago when I pfirst started reading this blog, it was written by man family and taking away from him. any pain and anger he did something that few people actually do, he went to the word of God to try to find a solution. This is his solution. I have a Bible study leader Who did the same thing when she got cancer. Guess what: she not sick anymore.
      At the in the day true believe her into the Holy Spirit.
      I see Toad as as a friend, he is a good man. and if you really believe what you wrote I hope you’re praying for him. Jesus said to judge with righteous judgment. Correction she always be always be company with intercession.

  3. Joseph Bleaux says:


    If you are correct about the “second chance” a woman has via her fathers annulment rights, then what are your thoughts on the purpose of the hymen and the concept of a “blood covenant” marriage, if such a thing was ordained by our Lord?

    • I don’t know that I’d call it a second chance so much as a safeguard in cases of stupidity or perhaps, as in our times, a morally degenerate society. Yet, it comes at a cost. In the scenario we have today it is a recognition that the price has already been paid. A case of “let’s bury the corpse” if you will.

      Your question goes to the heart of the debate over what a marriage actually is, especially in spiritual terms and consider the satanic implications of what our society does to women today. The blood is shed, the covenant is initiated and God joins the two as one flesh and following that there is no support from society to recognize a marriage has been initiated. The two later separate and it is the women who are damaged most, although I suspect men are damaged in ways we don’t understand. Is it any wonder so many women today are suffering from mental issues? That they are so medicated with psychotropic drugs?

      This is why, in my opinion, Scripture reads as it does in Exodus 22:17 that “If he absolutely refuses to give her to him…” The implication is he would do so against the advice of others and contrary to common wisdom. Her father is consciously breaking a bond and that is a serious issue. Yes, there are numerous social implications, but he is choosing to break the bond of his daughter’s marriage and force the separation of husband and wife. The implication is it would be a rare thing to take such a drastic step.

      The marriage covenant is mentioned exactly once in Scripture in a passage in which God is addressing priests in Malachi 2:14. The passage references Leviticus 21:13-15, in which the sons of Aaron are commanded not to take any but a virgin as a wife in order that their children are not profaned. I believe the purpose of the hymen is to facilitate the shedding of blood in order to initiate the covenant of marriage.

      The context of Genesis 2:24 is that the woman is a virgin. The man initiates the marriage with sex and God makes the two one flesh. Does that mean that if a woman is not a virgin then God does not join them as one flesh? Scripture does not answer that question and it can be argued either way. Yet, as the book of Hebrews says, “Let marriage be honored by all.” However, I suspect the reason women today are so encouraged to destroy their purity is that the bond of marriage is both far stronger and far more fragile than we know. From what Scripture gives us, we can only speculate.

      The issue of the father annulling his daughter’s marriage cannot be separated from his authority to marry her off against her will. Consider Eve, who was presented to Adam by God. The father, from whom his daughter came, is fulfilling God’s place in this and he has the authority to decide things that women today object to. Can we imagine that Eve would have objected to her presentation to Adam? Is this, as feminists would see it, the first recorded case of rape? No. Which is why a woman asking her father to annul her marriage is a recognition of his authority over her life, a confession of her own rebellion against that authority and a necessary step in healing their relationship.

  4. SomeGuy says:

    It seems to me that marriage being a contractual / ceremonial matter instead of initiating at the point of intimate contact is more in-line with the Greco-Roman tradition.

    I always wondered about the story of Jesus and the adulterous woman at the Temple. At that point, Judea was Roman-ruled and had been Hellenized for quite some time. Could it be that the men who had brought forth the woman were all personally,and unwittingly, following the Greco-Roman customs instead, which were adulterous from the Biblical perspective, instead of the God-given Hebrew laws?

    I wonder if this is a case of Hanlon’s razor – don’t ascribe to malice what can be ascribed to stupidity.

    Christianity took over the superstructure of the Roman State Religion – which had hundreds of years customs and ideas on proper behavior already existing at the time. Could it be that the Biblical customs on marriage, like the Kosher dietary laws, just didn’t make the transition. (Or as Mycroft pointed out earlier, that those following those customs were killed-off during the Bar Kochba rebellion?)

    On the face of it, the Roman Christian and the Jewish Christian both culturally thought that adultery was bad. But, I doubt that more than a very few of those Romanized Christians ever thought to check that the two cultures had the same thoughts on when marriage started.

    • No, what happened was the church threw out the Biblical instruction in favor of a combination of pagan beliefs, stoic philosophy and roman law. What it really came down to was a hatred of sex and sexual pleasure.

      It wasn’t long before the leaders of the church desired that the church be a large, powerful and monolithic organization with power and control of the world. This made them the enemy of the nobility and the main weapon of the church in that fight was the control of marriage. Perhaps you’ve heard the old expression, that “when you have them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow”?

      Marriage was the environment that determined inheritance, which is how the assets were passed from one generation to another. The father’s authority to determine who his daughter married and his influence over who his sons married was the key to the whole thing and that is where the church attacked.

      Quite literally, the church usurped the father’s authority and claimed it for their own when it came to determining who married whom, requiring the element of consent on the part of the woman. The church usurped the authority of the father, claiming the sole authority to annul a marriage. The church usurped the authority of the man within the marriage going so far as to regulate the marital bed. All of this laid the moral foundation for feminism.

      Cultural issues are a distraction because God gave man His standard for marriage. We either accept it and obey or we reject it and suffer the consequences. Currently we are suffering the consequences, but that doesn’t mean we can’t return to God’s standard and try to put things in some semblance of order.

  5. Renee Harris says:

    I been thinking about the order of marriage: the man is the owner master of wife. How can women belong to Christ? We can’t have two masters so do all woman just go to hell?

    • Zec says:

      It might not be my place to answer this Renee but Numbers 30 makes clear that God allows fathers and subsequently husbands to stand in as a body double so to speak for some of His role and authority. This does have some safe guards built in as a father and husband can be held accountable for a woman’s sin.

      I know it seems hard but if you believe in hell and salvation you have to believe the book that teaches about hell and salvation and that means accepting the other things that Book says.

      • Renee Harris says:

        If I have die as a virgin then what I get in to heaven? I’m almost 30. Being a virgin isn’t sexy after 26. And my dad is ok with having own place . So how does a unmarried woman in to heaven and more glorify God with her life?

  6. Joseph Bleaux says:


    Kristie’s problem, actually most christians really, is that they have bought into the “second chance” mantra that permeates the church these days . . . which is what draws many of them to the modern, mega churches. Unfortunate for them, there aren’t second chances for everything in life, some things are a “one and done” proposition. That is hard for people to hear and accept, but it is the reality. To think that one will never know God’s institution of marriage and all of its bounty and blessing due to bad decisions, is to swallow. Doesn’t mean they can’t work to glorify God or be light to others, but it does mean they will never know marriage according to Gods will. But rather than accept this truth, they Instead, will look to some apostate preacher to make them feel good about all of their “mistakes” . . . its sad and does nothing to correct this practice.

    The only place where I have heard a pastor come close to getting it right on this issue is within the churches of Christ in my part of the country . . . and not all of them are consistent on the matter. I’ve attended Baptist, Methodist, non-denoms, and Episcopalian churches in the last 30 years and they all seem to adhere to the modern secular thinking on marriage, that is, a ceremony and government issued certificate makes you married. And we wonder why the “marriages:” within he church seem to be just as dysfunctional as those without . . . because God will not bless what he forbids!!

    • Kristie’s problem, actually most christians really, is that they have bought into the “second chance” mantra that permeates the church these days

      It’s a definitional problem and the best argument is this:

      Virgin women automatically get a covenant marriage, with God making them one flesh. Every other woman gets a marriage that’s more of a civil union, but doesn’t have that extra *something* to it in which God bonded them.

      I don’t believe the first sentence can be argued against, but the second is questionable and we have no guidance from Scripture to say this. That has created a dangerous situation because of feminist equalist philosophy. That every woman, no matter how profaned she might be, deserves the best. Not God’s best for her, but the best available.

  7. Renee Harris says:

    How involved with my dad be in all this

  8. RichardP says:

    Re. Therefore, what God has joined together ….

    Will God ever join together an unbeliever with an unbeliever? A believer with an unbeliever? (Rhetorical)

    The question for which the Bible gives no definitive answer is “What constitutes a union of which it can be said “What God has joined together … ?” .

    If God does not join together a believer with an unbeliever, then sex with a virgin does not automatically create a union of which it can be said “What God has joined together … ” They would both have to be believers, and only God can see the heart. Society, not so much.

    (If God DOES join together a believer with an unbeliever, then that opens a whole nother theological can of worms. Primarily because it would give theological backing to the command to “man up and marry that slut” meme.)

    Society cannot abide uncertainty. Particularly around marriage (are they married or not) – due to laws regarding who gets to inherit what. So – society creates artificial boundaries where the Bible is not clear what those boundaries are (this is marriage, this is not). In an imperfect world, where there must be a clear demarcation upon which the division and inheritance of property can rest, society is compelled to create such boundaries, artificial as they may be. It makes sense that the church would follow along.

    For – in spite of all you say AT, the Bible gives no clear demarcation of what creates a union of which God says “Therefore, what God has joined together …” Because we do not have the skiz to say for certain who is a believer and who is not. But the succession of property rights demands a clear answer.

    It basically boils down to that.

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