On The Nature Of Assholes

Some women know what to look for…

What Is An Asshole?

Much like the word attractive, the appellation of “asshole” is a subjective one. One cannot appreciate the concept of what attractive is without the unattractive in comparison.  In the same way, to appreciate assholes one must compare them to pricks within the context of what assholes and pricks do.

Calling someone an “asshole” is normally code for “he hurt my feelings”.   This is normal because that’s one of the things assholes do on a regular basis, but it’s part of their charm.  The reason assholes hurt people’s feelings is feelings are not relevant to his mission.  Assholes are all about getting the job done.

Assholes have a mission and they live to accomplish the mission.  The simplest way to explain it is when a dirty job has to be done, the asshole is the man you pick to get the job done.  Anyone can be a garden variety asshole and that’s no compliment, but when a man is good it becomes a compliment.  When it’s a dirty job and it has to be done, find a serious asshole and he’ll get it done.  When the job is critical and seems to be impossible, that’s when you need a complete asshole.   A perfect asshole makes the impossible job look easy and there is a good argument that the only perfect asshole who ever lived was Jesus Christ.

Pricks are an entirely different breed.  Instead of being focused on the mission, pricks are focused on themselves and what they want.  They specialize in avoiding responsibility while screwing people, look out only for themselves and don’t care what happens to anyone else except as it impacts them.  Accomplishing the mission of the organization is for assholes, their only mission is to advance themselves.  The more intelligent and talented they are the worse they are.  Joseph Stalin was a compete prick.

By definition, while all men have the attributes of being both pricks and assholes, once they become a real prick or a real asshole, they are outliers because the vast majority of the population never makes it to that point.


Pricks and assholes are always at war.  The natural habitat of pricks is a bureaucracy and they work to get a position of safety so that when the time is right they can stab assholes in the back.  The assholes are generally working hard to accomplish their mission and never see the pricks sneaking up on them until it’s too late.  When it’s over the asshole has been stabbed and the pricks took credit for whatever it was he was doing.

It should also be made clear that only men can be assholes or pricks, it’s not something that can be applied to women.  This is because in the womb, a male baby gets a testosterone bath that destroys between 1/2 to 2/3 of the connectors between left and right brain.  This is what gives men the ability to be logical, analytical and focus intensely on their mission to the exclusion of all else.  Women can be a lot of things, but they can’t be either a prick or an asshole.


Assholes Tend To Be Military Men

Military service is one of the few places where an asshole’s unique talents can be appreciated.  When used in a positive light, describing a man as some form of asshole means he has the knowledge, talent, skill and experience that allowed him to master his job.  He is good at what he does.  The hallmark of an asshole is his ability to make decisions without being influenced by emotion.  Cold, hard, reasoned logic that’s based on the best data available.  When the question is not whether someone will die but rather how many will die, you want an asshole making the decisions.

When the ship has a hole below the waterline and the water is flooding in, the Captain must order the water-tight compartment doors closed.  That means sentencing some people to death because they’re in areas that will be flooded, but the decision must be made to save the lives of everyone on board the ship… without consideration for who might be in one of those compartments that will flood.

The triage designator at a hospital receiving casualties after a major battle must be an expert surgeon and know his own capabilities as well as the capabilities of everyone on the staff.  They must be able to diagnose and evaluate each patient based on what is presented within the context of what can be done with limited resources.  Depending on what triage class an individual is placed in, that decision can be the difference between life and death for the individual, but doing the job correctly ensures the maximum number will survive.

If a commander’s right flank is being mauled, the center is stationary giving as good as it gets and the left flank is advancing, the question is where to put in his reserves.  There is an emotional desire to reinforce the men who are being mauled but the key to winning the battle is to reinforce the men who are advancing.  By throwing the reserves onto the left flank he can crack their line and roll them up, which will take pressure off the right flank.  By  ignoring the casualties the right flank is taking the battle can be won and the total casualties will be much lower.


Good Kings Are Assholes

I touched on this in the post about the Sin of Adam.  Command has no friends.  The throne is hard and there are no cushions on it.  Decisions must be made, often quickly without adequate information.  Such decisions cannot be made emotionally and must be made with the mission first and foremost in mind.  This ability is the distinction that sets true assholes apart from other men.

A king who is nice guy will be a failure and his performance will damage his kingdom and get people hurt.  He will make decisions based on emotions and how they impact the relationships with his friends.  He will not have the respect he needs and eventually he will be held in contempt.

History gives us many examples of kings who were pricks and while quite often they were competent rulers, their kingdom usually suffered because of their lack of good character.  Loyalty and fidelity begets loyalty and fidelity, concepts about which pricks are completely unaware.  When pricks are in power there is always corruption… as long as the prick gets his cut of the action.

The wise and successful king is an asshole.  His mission is the success of his kingdom and he makes his decisions accordingly- everything else comes second.   When he wages war, he hoists the black flag and his men leave nothing but scorched earth.  Everyone will think long and hard before attacking that kingdom or even mistreating its subjects.  He will not tolerate corruption and allow his “friends” to become rich.  He will ensure justice is done because in the end, there must be justice and he does not care who that upsets.

The native function of an asshole is to get rid of shit.  If assholes are not doing their job, an organization will eventually get so full of shit that it dies, but when the assholes are doing their job the organization can stay healthy.  Frequently this means that assholes are not popular or well-liked, but they are always respected.

To say someone is an asshole is not to say they are unkind or unloving.  In fact, assholes are (as a rule) more kind and more loving than people who make decisions emotionally.  When it comes to relationships with women, they tend to give the women that masculine dominance they need and they will not knuckle under and allow her to manipulate and control them.  Assholes are generally very good at giving their people what they need, not necessarily what they want or (as is usual with women) think they want.

Ranked assholes understand loyalty and honesty.  They keep their commitments.  If there is a problem it’s generally one of calibration where they don’t have things in balance.  Assholes are already used to dealing with reality so even if they have never been introduced to the Red Pill, they don’t have any problem accepting the data at face value.


Asshole Is Not A Socio-Sexual Rank

As the socio-sexual ranks go, assholes are almost always either alphas or sigmas.  Some were born either an alpha or sigma while others start out as one of the other ranks and become an alpha as they progress through their development as an asshole.  Individuals rarely become a sigma because sigmas are almost always of the personality type INTJ.  Sigma’s are born, not made.

Pricks are almost always gammas.  A delta or beta might develop as a prick if he gives in to his gamma side and goes in that direction, but gamma is material from which pricks are made.  It is the combination of fear, insecurity, envy and covetousness that drives pricks to be pricks.  Gamma’s are not without ability and often do quite well socially, but they are failures in the areas they want to succeed.  Envy of the success of others is the driving force of a prick’s life and as they become consumed with hatred their goal is to destroy.

The alpha label is often synonymous with asshole, but it’s a chicken-egg question of which came first.  Did the asshole produce the alpha or did the alpha produce the asshole?  My guess is that personality considerations aside, it was the asshole that produced the alpha.

Alphas are most often the ENTJ personality type and it’s the ENTJ’s who are the natural alphas.  Sigma’s are almost exclusively INTJ’s and it’s the introvert aspect of their personality that keeps them from being alphas.  They don’t have a desire to take charge, although they have all the personality tools necessary to do so.   The difference between alphas and sigmas as assholes is that alphas will commonly be real assholes and sometimes serious assholes, but complete assholes are almost always sigmas.

In the end, being an asshole is a good thing but only if one is a rank asshole.  Any man can be a garden-variety asshole and that’s no compliment, but when asshole is applied as a rank it’s a good thing.  The 11th commandment is “Thou Shalt Not Get Caught” and there is also a 12th Commandment:


NB: Your author is widely acknowledged to be a complete asshole.

This entry was posted in Marriages Go Their Own Way, Messages to a young man. Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to On The Nature Of Assholes

  1. White Guy says:

    That seems about right. I test INTP (Iean INTJ), and as I’ve been unplugging, the asshole comments seem to be coming more and more often. 🙂

    • Linny says:

      I too am INTP but I get labeled bitch.

      • When a woman will have sex with a man and has sex with other men, he calls her a slut. When she has sex with other men but won’t have sex with him, he calls her a bitch.

      • Linny says:

        Actually, it is women who call me a bitch. Mainly because I usually don’t follow their way of thinking and appear to be ignoring them.

        Sex is and has been out of my realm for so long I am not even going to acknowledge that part. Lol

  2. Linny says:

    I don’t often verbalize these titles but do think them. Now I am going to have to give some thought to exactly which title the person actually deserves. Darn, another complication in my life.

  3. happyhousewifey says:

    I’m still thinking I better not try to explain to my husband what an asshole he is…

  4. Reverend Pain says:

    This explains why I hated the civil service (public sector) so much. It’s all about making sure feelies are not hurt and not about getting the job done. Here in England we only ever make decisions based on A) feelies or B) ‘what works best for me’. We’ve only got pricks and weak men/women in charge! We need more assholes before England becomes Englandstan.

    • Linny says:

      Reverent Pain

      I advise staying away from union facilities too. I worked in such an environment and to make it worse it was 98% women.

      I know one of these days I will have my *woman’s card* revoked because of my attitude but I really hated working in a woman dominated workplace.

  5. Linny says:


    I am pretty sure I understand alpha and beta. Could you please point me in the right direction to get a handle on sigma, gamma and delta. I have not run into these anywhere else so I don’t understand their significance.

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  9. Trinn says:

    I am a rather cerebral INFP. I say that because INFPs tend to either be intellectually minded, or else a great many go the hipster-mangina-touchy-feely route. I am definitely INFP but tend to dislike other INFPs and I tend to make friends with INTJs and even more so with INTPs.
    I agree with pretty much everything in this article and have long considered ENTJs to be the standard bearers for successful Alpha assholes and INTJs to be the standard bearers for successful Sigma assholes.
    I also have considered that IN_Ps seem to be the standard bearers for Omegas, and moreover, I also consider that Omegas get a bad rap, perhaps deliberately so, from the controlled corporate media, which stereotypes Omegas as basement-dwelling videogamers when in reality the successful Omegas are publishing books and embroiled in studying deep projects that are over most people’s heads, etc.
    If you cross an Omega over something he cares about or has studied, he can come at you with the aggressiveness of an Alpha, but he’s just as likely to pity you and not trouble himself with an inferior intellect or inferior moral character or whatever. Omegas just don’t need too many people in their lives as we’ve learned not to trust almost all of them, almost all of them bore us, and we know we bore almost all of them.
    I guess this is my long-winded way of wondering: If Alphas and Sigmas are assholes, and Gammas are pricks, then what is the go-to pejorative word for Omegas? The best I can think of is “crank” but crank only captures the penchant for crabbiness, not for rather intelligent crabbiness.

    • Trinn says:

      Also, “crank” is not a derogatory body part word.

    • Welcome to Toad’s Hall.

      The difference between “asshole” and “prick” is that “prick” is always a pejorative (and in many cases, given the individual, an obscenity) but “asshole” is only a pejorative at the lower levels. Pricks have no redeeming qualities but serious assholes are the men one wants around when the going gets tough. When your life is on the line you want a complete asshole running things.

      As to Omega’s, I think that eccentric is a better word if the emphasis is more on their personality type and specific behaviors than their lack of success in the sexual market.

      An alpha or a sigma could place themselves in isolation and under the assumptions of the socio-sexual hierarchy they are omegas… so while it isn’t difficult to see the interface between personality and S-S rank with alphas and sigmas, on the other end it isn’t clear at all.

      Then too, there’s the aspect of aspergers syndrome and the fact that it’s common among real omegas. That condition generally results in an intense focus that excludes the things one isn’t interested in, but I don’t see that as a bad thing. In fact, the weaponized autism of 4chan has impacted politics with crowd-sourced investigations. You might not be drinking buddies with guys like that, but you have to respect that kind of single-minded focus.

      In cases like that, someone who is a bit aspy could actually not be an introvert at all but due to their focus be perceived as an introvert. It’s all rather complex.

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