What Is Adultery?
Adultery in its most simple form, is the crime that occurs when a married woman has sex with a man who is not her husband. It is written:
You shall not have intercourse with your neighbor’s wife, to be defiled with her. Leviticus 18:20
If there is a man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, one who commits adultery with his friend’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. Leviticus 20:10
Adultery Requires A Married Woman
Without a married woman there can be no adultery, which brings an entirely new meaning to the word “lust” that churchians love to toss around. Jesus said
You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:27-28
Lust is adultery in the heart and adultery requires a married woman, so can a man look on an eligible woman with lust? No. It is not possible to commit adultery with an unmarried woman so likewise it is not possible to lust after an unmarried woman. So, according to Scripture, a boy that’s fapping to fantasies about the virgin girl next door is not lusting after her because she’s not married and he’s not in sin. If he starts fantasizing about the girl’s mother (assuming she’s married), that’s lust and according to Jesus he’s already committed adultery in his heart.
The Relationship Between Marriage and Adultery
In the act of taking the woman’s virginity the eligible man has taken her in marriage. Therefore, any woman who is not a virgin is (in approximately the order of occurrence):
- A married woman (the vast, vast majority of all adult women)
- A widow (more common than you might imagine).
- A woman divorced by her non-Christian husband for her adultery.
- A Christian woman whose non-Christian husband abandoned her.
- A woman who is not a virgin but was never married because the man was ineligible.
This is where it gets tricky, so pay attention.
The last point on the list was the woman who is not a virgin (she has had sexual intercourse) but was not married with that act because the man was not eligible to marry her. A man who was a close relative that committed incest with her did not marry her because that is forbidden. A man who the woman’s father had forbidden to marry her is not eligible to marry her and the sex does not make her married. As I’ve written previously, this offers a way out for women who are married and don’t know it.
First, Numbers 30:5 says the father has the authority to forbid any agreement his daughter makes, in the day he hears of it. There is no time limit on this, but the authority of the father to forbid his daughters agreements only applies when she is in her youth and living in his house. If, while she was in her youth and living in her fathers house, the girl gave her agreement to have sex with a man (which could be as simple as lifting her ass so he could pull her pants off), her father has the authority to forbid that agreement in the day he hears of it. Which means that the sex did not create a marriage.
There is no time limit on when the father can do this, which has the effect of creating an interesting situation that I wrote about in Modern Women- Schrodinger’s Cats. If she qualifies, seven words from her father is all it takes. If not, the next step is to ask whether the man in question is still alive. If he’s dead, she’s a widow as of the moment he died. If he’s alive, the question is whether he is a Christian. Because Christian men are forbidden to divorce their wives. If the man is not a Christian he can give her a certificate of divorce because of her adultery.
Applying Scripture To The Real World
Let’s say a Jane gave Fred her virginity (was married to him) when she was 16 and living at home. She later broke up with “boyfriend” Fred and had sex with many other men through the rest of her teenage years and during college. Eventually she got married to Robert (a Christian man who was a really nice guy) and later divorced him because she was unhappy. Jane has now discovered just how badly she’s screwed up her life and she has several choices in terms of how she should deal with this.
Currently she’s still married to Fred and all the other men have been cases of adultery.
- In the day her father hears of it, if he forbids it, she was not married to Fred. Because she was not a virgin and not married, she did not commit adultery with any of the other men she had sex with. When she had her wedding with Robert she was actually married to him because she agreed to be married and regardless of what some state court judge says, she is still married to Robert because she had no authority to divorce him. He, as a Christian man, is not authorized to divorce her for any reason.
- If non-Christian Fred gives her a certificate of divorce, today, she is no longer married but she has a long track record of adultery. She was never married to Robert because at the time they had their wedding ceremony she was married to Fred, so her so-called divorce from Robert was just a formal break-up of an adulterous liaison.
- If Fred is a Christian he is forbidden to divorce her. But, is he really a Christian? In 1st John 2 we are taught that someone who claims to be a Christian but does not keep His commandments is a liar. Fred is required to live with his wife and love her as Christ loves the Church. And to provide for her. So, when she shows up and he won’t do what he’s commanded to do, she can considered herself “abandoned” by her non-Christian husband.
Some might consider that legalism, but is it? God said to do things a certain way and He provided a few specific provisions to deal with problems. It would be amusing were it not so sad, but the same churchians who would object to the idea the women were married when they gave some man their virginity would then object that God provided a few ways out of that mess. Which was caused by the lies the churchians have taught for generations.
Gaming The System
Where this gets really interesting is that if Jane gets her father to forbid her marriage to Fred, she’s still married to Robert and has only been married to Robert. If she gets Fred to give her a certificate of divorce (or abandon her), she was never married to Robert, she was committing adultery with him. And, since as a Christian she is forgiven of her adultery, her only real issue is to stop committing adultery. So, does she want to be married to Robert?
What if Jane is still married to Robert but is unhappy and doesn’t want to be married to him any longer? If Daddy solves the problem she’s married to Robert. However, if she leaves Robert because it’s an adulterous relationship and legally divorces him she isn’t doing anything wrong. Then, when Fred gives her a certificate of divorce she’s no longer bound to Fred and she’s free.
Think it won’t happen? Consider Dalrock’s epic post “Why so many wives wish their husband would cheat“.
The Reasons Churchians HATE This
One might ask, why would a “single” woman want to end a marriage she doesn’t know about, that she doesn’t believe she has? Suffer the embarrassment of confessing to her father in order to get him to forbid her marriage she didn’t know about? Get a certificate of divorce from the guy who got her virginity, to end a marriage neither one of them knew about? People will think she joined a cult!
Because of the attractiveness of the man and the power of her rationalization hamster.
If said woman is highly attracted to the man, she will do this for him. Get Daddy to say seven words? Not a problem, especially if she knows he walks if she won’t do it. And later when they have sex it will not be a sin. Thus, you could say that the man has a sexual motive for ensuring she is eligible to marry, because as soon as she’s eligible to marry she’s legitimately fair game for sex. Without sin.
Oh- and there goes the whole “sex outside of marriage is always a sin” doctrine. Oops.
How many unhappy women are there in the church who are not really married to the man they think they are married to? What happens when they are taught the truth? Some of them will need to separate because they have a husband who would like for them to come home and they’re living in adultery. However, the issue of the unintentional marriage caused by all the lies can be fixed in the vast majority of cases. The problem is that many of the women would love to have a reason to get out of the marriage they’re in. Again, I refer the reader to Dalrock’s post about that. Does anyone think this situation has gotten better in the past five years?
Doing something about the epidemic of adultery means acknowledging that sex with a virgin makes her married. It also requires admitting there is a double-standard of sexual morality that says women can only have sex with their husband but their husband is not limited to sex with only his wife. He could legitimately be banging the babysitter. He can legitimately have multiple wives.
Worst of all, the churchian leaders would be forced to admit that for generations everyone in the congregation has been lied to and for generations everything they taught about sex and marriage was a lie. Well, two things were true, men and women are not to commit adultery and men are not to have sex with prostitutes. But even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Churchians will not change because it’s all about money, power and control.
Then How Will This Change Occur?
It is well known that your not-so-humble Toad is a complete asshole. I have been challenging churchians for years to refute me from the Bible. If I was wrong it should be rather simple to refute me by laying out what the Bible actually says. That hasn’t happened because what I’m writing here is the truth. Like it or not, this is the truth.
Churchian teachers will not stop lying or doubling down on their lies. The idea that so-called “leaders” in the church will start teaching what the Bible actually says is laughable.
The change will only occur when men learn the truth of what Scripture says and become high-value men who are fit to rule over women. They must become the man that women will call their father for. After that happens and the women are eligible to marry, the men can enjoy the fruit of their labor. As strange as it sounds, calling such a thing a ministry is far more appropriate than the “ministry” of standing in a pulpit and telling folks that Jesus loves them and God forgives them, so have a great time of fellowship and don’t forget to tithe!
I can just imagine the screams of outrage that will center on the false belief that sex outside of marriage is a sin. Those who think it’s a sin should avail themselves of Toad’s Churchian Challenge. In the meanwhile, what about not binding the mouths of the ox that treads the grain? Isn’t the worker worthy of his hire? And if he gets paid in kind rather than in cash, so what? There is no sin.
Then comes the question: what if she wants to marry the man? I will be covering that in a future post, but the answer is simple. A man consents and commits to marriage with the act of penetration so he should not be having sex with any woman he isn’t interested in marrying. Given that she’s not a virgin, she has to agree to marriage before it’s a marriage. The question is whether she agrees to be married and how she might go about doing that.
In my studied opinion, men who want a reasonably safe marriage today with some hope they’ll be able to raise their children to adulthood without having them stolen should get married to at least two women at the same time using a contract, live in the same house with them and share the same bed. I’ll be explaining that in detail in a future post, which might just surprise the MGTOW brigade.