Sexual Morality

FAMILY CAME FIRST

  1. God Created Man and then God Created Woman for Man, from Man.
  2. God gave the Law of Marriage, which created family.
  3. The mission of Man is to be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it, take dominion over it.
  4. Sin entered the world through the transgression of Man.
  5. God gave mankind His Law, His judgements and Prophets.
  6. God sent His Son to be the Savior, who Created His Church.
  7. The mission of the Church is to go forth and make disciples of all men.

In its thirst for power, the ancient leaders of the church usurped the authority of men (husbands and fathers) over their wives and within their families.  In doing so God’s rules regarding marriage and sexual morality were thrown out, replaced with rules that made it easier for the church to gain and maintain control over the people. 

Today, the church works to destroy families by teaching those things designed to destroy the bond between husband and wife.  The church fully supports it’s women when they destroy their families and remove the father from the home.  They deny the importance of father and thereby destroy the children.

The real attack is on the family
With the destruction of the family
The church is weakened and without power.
The feminized church attacks men, renewing the cycle

Understand that in general individuals become Christians in childhood prior to puberty, because they receive the Gospel when their hearts are tender.   The single greatest influence on this is their parents and specifically their father.  The Bible’s instructions on sexual morality may not be appropriate for children, but they are required as the children go through puberty and physically become adults capable of reproducing.

Unfortunately, just as in the days of King Josiah, God’s Law concerning sexual morality, marriage and divorce has been hidden away and it is no longer taught.  The purpose of this blog is to educate Christians (and anyone else) on what God commanded regarding sexual morality.

This page has two lists.  The first list describes various points of sexual morality from the Bible.  The second list describes the rules of marriage.  Again, all from the Bible.  If there are any objections to the points on these lists, feel free to make your argument in the comments or take Toad’s Churchian Challenge instead.

Point #1 on the first list below is the central problem of morality in our churches today.  Churches and society teach that sex does not make one married.  God says it does.    The churches teach that virginity does not matter.  God says it does.  Teach your daughters and your sons what God says, because this will affect them for the rest of their lives.

As you read through the lists below, think of how often you’ve been taught the exact opposite and how much things have changed in the past hundred years.  Modern marriage has watered down the requirements of marriage to the point that the rules from the Bible are now the equivalent of a BDSM Dominance/submission relationship.  And, as it turns out, the list of Biblical rules for marriage was put together for the post 50 Shades of Biblical Marriage.


21 Elements Of Biblical Sexual Morality

1.  The act of marriage is sexual intercourse and to have sex with an eligible virgin is to marry her (Genesis 2:24).

“Eligible virgin” means the virgin is not engaged to be married and she is eligible to marry the man in question (no incest or other disabilities).  With the act of sexual intercourse the virgin is married whether she knows it or not, whether she agreed to be married or not.  Following that act (her marriage), every other man she has sex with is a case of adultery because the woman is married to the man who took her virginity.   As a married woman, it follows that any so-called wedding to another man is fraudulent because the woman is already married.

2.  The Law of Marriage states that when an eligible virgin has sex, she is married.  The Law of Vows states the father has the authority to forbid any vow or agreement his daughter makes in the day he hears of it. 

Because the act of sexual intercourse is the act of marriage, her agreement to have sex is therefore her agreement to marry.  However, in the day her father hears of her agreement he has the authority to forbid that agreement and from the moment of the agreement she is no longer an eligible virgin.  Which means that the subsequent act of having sex did not make her married because her father refused her agreement and refused to give her in marriage. 

We see in Exodus 22:16 an example of the father allowing her agreement and they are married.  In the following verse (verse 17) the father forbids it and the text says “and if he absolutely refuses to give her…”   There is no time limit and her father can forbid that agreement in the day he hears of it if she made the agreement in her youth while living in his house.

3.  The consent and/or commitment of an eligible virgin to her marriage is not necessary or required for her to be married (Exodus 21:7-10; Exodus 22:16; Deuteronomy 21:10-14; Deuteronomy 22:28-29).

A virgin has no agency because she may be married against her will with the act of penetration and she can freely consent to marriage and have her father forbid that marriage after the act of marriage.  In contrast, marriage to an eligible non-virgin (such as a widow or legitimately divorced woman) requires her consent to marry in addition to sex in order to form a marriage (Genesis 2:24; Numbers 30:9; 1st Corinthians 7:39).

4.  The lack of an eligible virgin’s requirement to provide consent to a marriage means she may be raped into marriage (Deuteronomy 22:28-29).  Because the eligible non-virgin must consent to marriage, she cannot be raped into marriage against her will.

Deuteronomy 22 is the only portion of the Law that deals with the crime of what we know as rape.  The rape of a married woman or an engaged virgin (legally a wife) carried the death penalty.  The rape of a virgin who was not engaged resulted in marriage if they were discovered.  If they were not discovered the issue would devolve to the father’s authority.  The rape of the widow, divorced woman or slave woman was not mentioned at all.

5.  With the act of penetration, the man gives his consent and makes his commitment to marry the woman he is having sex with, every single time (Genesis 2:24).  With every act of sexual intercourse, the man renews his commitment to his wife.

6.  Reinforcing point #5, there is no prohibition anywhere in Scripture forbidding a man from having sex with an eligible woman, regardless of his marital status.

If the woman is a virgin they are married. If the woman is not a virgin her consent to marry is required before they are married.  There is no prohibition anywhere in Scripture that prohibits an eligible woman from having sex with a man eligible to marry her.  According to Romans 4:15 and 5:13, the lack of prohibition means the act is not a sin. 

According to 1st Corinthians 7:39 and Numbers 30:9, a woman who is not a virgin but eligible to marry has the authority to choose who she marries, she cannot be raped into marriage like a virgin.  If an eligible non-virgin has sex with a man who is eligible to marry her, while the act will result in becoming one flesh, they are not married until she chooses to be married to that man.  Only then will the act of intercourse make them married.   We know this from 1st Corinthians 6:16, men have sex with prostitutes and become one flesh with them but are not married to them because the prostitutes don’t consent to marry their customers.

Further, the issue of “sex outside marriage” is directly confronted in 1st Corinthians 7:1, where Paul said “It is good not to touch a woman.”  If one applies the definitions to the words, Paul said “It is good not to have sexual relations with a woman who is not your wife.”  In other words, it isn’t forbidden, but it’s good not to do that.

7.   There is no requirement anywhere in Scripture for a betrothal period, a celebration or public ceremony of any kind, nor does marriage require the permission of any third party such as the church or state, because the authority to marry was granted to the man in the Law of Marriage (Genesis 2:24).  However, if the woman is in her youth and living in her father’s house, he has authority to forbid the marriage if he chooses to, after the fact in the day he hears of it (Numbers 30:3-5).

8.  The only way a man and woman can have “premarital sex” is if they are engaged to be married and have sex during the engagement period. While there is no requirement in Scripture for an engagement period, if the man makes such a vow it must be kept.

If they have sex during the engagement period the man has violated the requirements of the engagement by not keeping his vow (Numbers 30:2). They are not married (even though she was a virgin) because due to the voluntary agreement, she cannot be married until after the end of the engagement period and any agreed upon ceremony. 

9.  The portion of traditional marriage vows to “forsake all others” is voluntary because Scripture contains no such requirement for the man.  If, however, the man chooses to make this vow it is binding upon him (Numbers 30:2).

10.  A married woman who has sex with any man other than her husband commits adultery as long as he is still alive (Leviticus 18:20, 20:10, Romans 7:2-3), which means that adultery requires a married woman.  Unless a married woman is involved there can be no adultery.  Interestingly, while adultery by free persons was a death penalty offense, according to Leviticus 19:20, neither a slave wife or her lover were to be put to death for adultery because she was not free.  There would be punishment, but not death, because her status was not that of a free woman.

11.  The original standard of marriage was permanent but non-exclusive commitment on the part of the man with the wife being bound permanently and exclusively in marriage by her husband (Genesis 2:24, Leviticus 18:20, Genesis 3:16, Romans 7:2-3.)

12.  Genesis 2:24 allowed a man to have more than one wife, which was supported throughout Scripture (Deuteronomy 25:5-10; 2nd Samuel 12:8; Jeremiah 31:21-32) and never changed.

There can be no question that polygyny was permitted and regulated in the Law and as such it was not a sin in any way.  While the meaning of 1st Timothy 3:2 is debatable, if one holds that if forbids an elder of the church from having more than one wife, this is proof that polygyny was a regulated activity in the New Testament and is unquestionably permitted within the church.  Of one holds that the “husband of one wife” was a slang expression that meant “not a ladies man” (the opinion of the Greek Bible translator Spiros Zodhiates), we find there is no objection in the New Testament to the standard of marriage from Genesis, the Law, judgments and prophets.

13.  Although the standard of Genesis 2:24 called for permanent commitment on the part of the men, Moses permitted men to divorce their wives for adultery (Deuteronomy 24:1; Matthew 19:7-9). Christ later made a regulation for His church forbidding divorce between two Christians married to each other, effectively restoring the original standard of marriage within His church (1st Corinthians 7:10-11).

The confusion between what Jesus said in Matthew 5 and Matthew 19 about divorce and what Christ said in 1st Corinthians 7 is the historical result of the church forbidding polygyny.  In Matthew Jesus was speaking to those under the Law, who were permitted by Moses to divorce their wives.  In 1st Corinthians Christ was instructing His slaves and He forbid them from divorce for any reason.  The difference between those under the Law and those in Christ is one of status.  The Law did not change, the status of the individuals changed.

14.  The Apostle Paul instructed that if a Christian was married to a non-Christian and the non-Christian left the Christian and refused to live with them, the Christian was free (no longer bound) to the marriage (1st Corinthians 7:12-15).

15.  If a man lies with a man as with a woman, that is prohibited, an abomination and was classified as a death penalty offense (Leviticus 18:2220:13).

16.  If either a man or a woman has sex with an animal it is a perversion and a death penalty offense (Leviticus 18:23, 20:15-16).

17.  While male homosexuality is an offense for men and bestiality is an offense for both men and women, homosexual contact between women is not prohibited except for cases of incest within a polygynous marriage. The incest statutes contain two prohibitions, one concerning a man marrying sisters, another on marrying a mother-daughter or grandmother-granddaughter. Those regulations presume sexual contact between wives in a polygynous marriage (Leviticus 18:17-18).

With respect to female homosexuality, Christians are taught that such activity was forbidden in Romans 1:26Wrong.  Nothing could be further from the truth.   Paul was being descriptive, not proscriptive and all the verse says is the women were given over to a degrading passion and gave up the natural for the unnatural.  Why was woman created?  To be a helper for man as his wife and the mother of his children.   I argue the degrading passion is feminism and the natural function (becoming a wife and mother under the authority of her husband) was given up for the feminist ideal of being a strong independent woman, rejecting marriage and motherhood under the authority of a man.  

The men, likewise, gave up the natural function of woman (rejecting marriage and fatherhood), but in addition to that, they burned with lust and did that which was specifically forbidden (male homosexuality) and received the due penalty (death) in their own bodies.

18.  There is no prohibition anywhere in Scripture that forbids a woman from being a simple money-for-sex prostitute, although prostitution as part of idolatry (cult prostitute) is forbidden in Deuteronomy 23:17 and fathers are forbidden to make their daughters prostitutes in Leviticus 19:29.

19.  The only prohibition against using the services of a prostitute in all of Scripture is in 1st Corinthians 6:15-16, which only forbids Christian men from using prostitutes.  See the discussion in this post to the boys at Millar Bible College.

20.  Women are not to have sexual intercourse following the birth of a child for 40 days if the child is a boy and 80 days if the child is a girl (Leviticus 12:2-5).

21.  A man having intercourse with his wife while she is menstruating is committing a prohibited act that is ranked equally with adultery, bestiality, idolatry and male homosexuality (Leviticus 18:19-24). 

The man and woman who do such a thing are to be cut off from their people (Leviticus 20:18).  While there is no prohibition or even any mention of masturbation anywhere in Scripture, sexual relations during menstruation is never mentioned in the modern church but masturbation is frequently condemned.

 

The Rules Of Marriage

  1. The act of penetrative sexual intercourse is required to begin the marriage.  If the woman is an eligible virgin, sex automatically begins the marriage.  If she is not a virgin but otherwise eligible, she must agree to the relationship prior to the sex initiating the relationship. (Genesis 2:24 as interpreted by 1st Corinthians 6:16 and 7:39)
  2. The commitment standard of the man is permanent, which means that once given he cannot rescind his commitment (regardless of her behavior).  His commitment is non-exclusive, which means that at his discretion he may bring other women into the marriage at any time. (Genesis 2:24)
  3. The commitment standard of the wife is permanent and she is bound to her husband for as long as he lives.  Her commitment is exclusive, which means that he is her one and only.  Sex with any other man is the crime of adultery  (Romans 7:2-3).
  4. The relationship between the husband and wife is one of master-servant, or ruler-subject.  Husbands are to rule their wives and have complete authority over them, over every aspect of their lives, in everything. (Genesis 3:16, Numbers 30, Ephesians 5, 1st Peter 2-3)
  5. Husbands are required to love their wives.  This love is defined as holding them accountable for good behavior and requiring their obedience.  When they transgress he is required to rebuke and discipline them (Hebrews 12:5-11, Revelation 3:19).
  6. Part of this accountability is his obligation to review any and every agreement she makes with others.  If he desires he may say nothing and let it stand but if he does not like it he is to forbid it in the day he hears of it (Numbers 30).
  7. Wives are to submit to their husband in everything, no exceptions to the same degree they are required to submit to the Lord Jesus (Ephesians 5:22-24).
  8. A wife’s submission is not dependent on her opinion of her husband’s behavior or his actual behavior.  If the husband is displaying bad behavior wives are to submit to him without a word and win him over with their quiet and chaste conduct (1st Peter 3:1-6).
  9. Sex is to be on demand and the wife’s body belongs to her husband.  Likewise, husbands are to ensure their wives sexual needs are met (1st Corinthians 7:4, Exodus 21:10).
  10. Sexual activity such as masturbation and oral, vaginal or anal penetration are all at the discretion of the husband inasmuch as none of these things are forbidden in any way  (Ephesians 5:22-24).
  11. Wives are required to live with their husband in order that he might meet his responsibility to love her and hold her accountable for her behavior (1st Peter 3:7, 1st Corinthians 7:10).
  12. If a wife chooses to violate requirement #11 and leave her husband, she is to remain single (chaste) or be reconciled to him (1st Corinthians 7:10-11).
  13. If the wife has left her husband in violation of these rules, she still retains the right of return.  If she returns in complete submission to him, the husband is required to accept her return to the relationship and cannot refuse to be reconciled to her (1st Corinthians 7:11, 1st Peter 3:7).
  14. Wives are not required to love their husband, but they are required to respect him, obey him and submit to him (Genesis 3:16, Numbers 30, Ephesians 5, 1st Peter 3:1-2).
  15. Wives are encouraged to call their husband “Master” without being frightened by any fear (1st Peter 3:6).
  16. As part of the wives requirement to respect their husband, it is appropriate to treat him as if they were enlisted persons and he was a commissioned officer.  Call him “Sir” and be respectful in language and posture, as well as giving an appropriate “salute” such as a bow of the head or kiss on the cheek when that is appropriate.
  17. Wives belong to their husband and are required to remain faithful to him, although masturbation and sexual activity with other women are allowed at his discretion.
  18. The man may have sex with any woman outside the relationship that he is eligible to marry, except for prostitutes.
  19. Women must not have vaginal intercourse while they are menstruating (Leviticus 18:19).
  20. Vaginal intercourse is forbidden following childbirth for a period of 40 days if the child was a boy and 80 days for a girl (Leviticus 12).
  21. Any other rules are negotiable or at the discretion of the husband.

 

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